How to deal with those grown children who ignore their parents is a difficult task. Children who grow up with a secure and healthy attachment are more likely to develop satisfying relationships with their Parents. Grown children are those children who are grown not only physically but also mentally.
Why Grown Children Ignore their Parents
When the children are grown up, they want to handle their matters themselves independently. We can also call them adult children. They think that they can decide about their life.
On the other hand, Parents think they can make batter decisions for their grown-up children because they have life expectations and experiences. They know the ups and downs of life.
Parents have faced all the situations throughout their life from a grown-up child is passing. So, they know everything and want to make good decisions for their child. But on the other side, children want to tackle their issues and decisions.
If a child ignores his parents, it is very disappointing and heartbreaking for parents. Parents wish some attention from their children. Children cannot imagine how it affects their parents when they start to ignore them. If this behavior continues for an extended period, it weakens the relationship, and things become more complex. This kind of attitude should break; otherwise, it creates problems.
The most common reason for this issue is emotional abuse. When parents usually use abusive words for their children. They yelled and insulted the child. Also, they continuously reject their thoughts, ideas, and opinion. Another reason is confliction of expectations. Sometimes conflicts arise because of family roles. Differences in values are also a factor. Problems occur between children and parents when values clashes. There are also many other factors which become the reason confliction between parents and their child.
Importance of Strong Parents Child Relationships
A child who has a secure relationship with the parent learns to regulate his emotions under intense stress and in difficult situations.
Keep in mind, a secure bond promotes a child’s emotional, mental, motor, and language development. It helps to adopt more optimistic and confident social behaviors by gaining stronger problem-solving skills.
The Role of Parents
The role of the parent in the parent-child relationship is to strive for his mental and physical health to provide security. The first and most important relationship of an infant is his relationship with his mother. It interacts with it and communicates its important needs. Whether she will respond to his call or ignore it, “educates” the child on whether he can rely on her or not. That is, whether or not she will feel safe in her face.
10 Best Ways To Deal With Grown Children Who Ignore Their Parents
Sometimes it becomes challenging to control things. Especially when the relationship between child and parents is not strong. There comes across some conflicts. Every parent and child desires that their relationship must be friendly and live a happy life. So there are some most important ways to deal with these problems.
1. Respect Their Decisions
When your child has grown up, and he wants to decide, then consider it humbly. If his decision is good for him, then you appreciate him. But if the decision is not suitable for him, don’t discourage him and use abusive words. Explain to him politely and don’t be rude. He will surely understand your point of view, and no conflict will arise. On the other hand, parents should always support their children’s decisions. They have to build trust in this regard.
2. Guard Down And Don’t Become Defensive
It is easy to judge who is right and who is wrong. So you don’t be defensive. Because it’s not the correct way to tackle the matter, you can hear them in this way as a parent. It would help if you took things differently. Being a parent, you should regret their mistakes and take responsibility for yourself. Also, being a parent, we should change ourselves instead to change a child.
3. Ditch Guilt Trips
Sometimes parents feel guilty in regretting the things which they have done wrong. They should never feel guilty in this regard. There is nothing here to feel guilty in mourning. If you do not regret but feel guilty, this can cause mental illness for you. It would be better to do things in the right way by accepting mistakes. Both parents and children are not perfect. Both can make mistakes. So, don’t feel guilty. Just regret either there is a child or parent.
4. Don’t Ignore Your Own Needs
It is tough not to think about children as a parent, but you should also take care of yourself and your needs. If you need any help, you can ask your child. They are a call away.
5. Stay Positives
Sometimes we think it is the end of the world—positive behavior help to deal with those children who ignore their parent. You should believe positively before we can try anything. Being positive, you can easily handle many matters.
6. Understand Your Child
First, find out what’s going on. Then take time and discuss with your child. Try to understand their issues and find a good solution. In this way, you will also build a way to make a good relationship with them.
7. Make Them Feel Valued
Your child needs some attention from your side. He wants parents should also give them value as they have the right. They want parents to provide value to their opinions and requirements. They need care and a close relationship in this regard. So parents should also take care of their child’s feelings and opinions.
8. Make Friendly Environment
As we know, communication is a significant factor in having a good relationship. Talk to your child in a friendly way. In this way, they can show their emotions and talk easily. They will share their ideas and feelings without any hesitation.
9. Don’t Ignore Their Needs
Always take care of the needs of your children. Provide them all the necessary things at the time. You should know what their needs are. If you ignore their needs, it will create difficulties for them, and the relationship between you and the child cannot be strong.
10. Give Them Proper Time
The most important thing is time. Give them time daily. Make talks on daily routine and talk about their problems and difficulties. If you can’t take time for them and listen to them, then it will create distance.
10 Best Tips to Promote Healthy Parent Child Relationship
The question arises here on how to improve parent child love and relationships. So, the following are the top 10 tips to build healthy parents child relationships.
Maybe the most important element in parent-child relationship is active listening. Parents take the time to listen to what we are being told and not “pretend” to hear it. So, pay attention to them, and in return, they will listen when needed. If there is no active listening to the wishes of our children, then they will find abnormal ways to get our attention. Such as antisocial behavior, suicide attempt, self-injury, jealousy, withdrawal, etc.
Show your children confidence through initiative and encouragement even when they fail to “meet” your expectations (such as becoming excellent students, athletes, etc.). Do not expect them to achieve what we did not achieve as children.
Show them confidence and give them space and time to prove what they can do and what they want to achieve.
Encourage your child to talk to you about the school, his friends, his feelings without restraint and modesty. Encourage him whatever he wants to do. Help the child find their talents because everyone has some talents, and support them in what they enjoy, in what they were created for.
Respect for the dignity of the other. It does not mean that because they are smaller they are also weaker and they should always listen to us. We and they learn. We encourage expression, not oppression. Children should consider us “allies” and not their enemies.
Every child is different and unique. Do not compare your children with their siblings or their peers. In this way, we “load” them with additional responsibilities and expect much more or even less than they really are capable. Let them discreetly show, who they are and what they can do.
Learn to work with your children. Do not expect them to develop initiative and confidence if they always follow you. Let them make mistakes and then show them the right thing. Discuss with them what is right and what is wrong.
Recognize that they succeed and give value to their effort. Even in failure find something positive and motivate them to be even better next time. Do not expect the first to succeed.
For this reason, the main concern should be the development of moral perception and emotional intelligence of children that will help them understand the importance of proper behavior depending on each context (family, school, etc.).
Communication with the child holds an important position in the family. It must be fair and stable. It is essential that we keep the communication channels open with children. The most important conversations take place between some activities, in the car, before bed, in the bathroom, etc. Usually, children respond more positively to a conversation when we define “Now we are talking”.
There must be clarity of rules, consequences, and expectations, what they can expect from their parents, what is not allowed and what is allowed in their family. It is important for children to know that each family has its own rules, rights and obligations. Therefore, when the child insists on something, then it is good to remind him of the rules of his own family. After all, every home is unique, every child is special and that is how it should remain.
We are allies, we listen to them and respect them but there are limits to our relationship with them. By delimiting our relationship, they learn to delimit themselves both at school and with their friends and not be driven by addictions and addictions.
A typical example is an addiction to television and games. Parents, We must set limits and measure their behavior. But there must be a measure in our lives and behavior. Limits in behavior are a very important element in raising children.
Children who grow up in an environment with fixed boundaries tend to feel more confident and secure. Parents, on the other hand, who do not apply rules of discipline, raise children who often behave provocatively, thus testing those around them and their reactions.
10. Be Available
Spend some time with your kids. Making time to talk to your child without any disturbances even 10 minutes a day can make a big difference in establishing a good relationship with your kid. Put off the technology, turn off the television and spend some quality time together. Eating together and having friendly conversations with your kid. Quality time with kids can help to build the self-esteem of the kids and strengthen the parent-child relationship.
Grown children who ignore their parents do not have an idea how it hurts their parents. But there is also a factor that grown children who ignore their parents probably have some reasons.
When a child grew up, parents should change their ideas about the child. Let him be free to make their good decisions. Also, on the other hand, children take care of their parents’ feelings and expectations. So, we can say that parents and children have an excellent friendly environment to keep the relationship strong and happy.